Hey BBC news. Australia is not part of Asia!!!!

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http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-17150393 . We are a continent in our own right. We are not part of Asia. So give us our own section. Or stfu about us.

Our Enchanted Evening

                                                  

                                                  Chapter 1 The Slave

It’s been 1 year since I first emailed The Mistress trying to curry her favor. She took one look at my photo and laughed and said you had better hit the gym and hit hard before you stand a chance with me. So I did as she commanded and started going to the gym 5 days a week for a year trying hard to get myself buff and ripped. When I finally thought I was ready I sent a photo to her and she said that I was ready but only just. So I finally made my way to The Mistress’s house.   

                                                 Chapter 2 The Mistress

Welcome to my parlor said the spider to the fly. Now get undressed so I can see what I’m dealing with. So the slave undressed and The Mistress said my oh my, what a small willy you have. Lucky for you I know a trick. So the Mistress got out her bag of tricks and got out a ball of string and started to tie the string around the slaves cock and balls. First she tied the string around the bottom of the slave’s scrotum and ties his balls up tightly in a crisscross manor she then ties the rest of the string tightly around his penis and the slave’s little willy turned into a purple helmet warrior. Then The Mistress greased up her fist and slid her fist up his arse and started to pound it. She also took his balls in her mouth and started to mash them with her teeth while she ordered the slave to wank himself. She also ordered the save to tell her if she was mashing his balls too hard. The last thing I want is damaged merchandise yelled The Mistress. That’s it you silly fuck I’m going to rape you like you have never been raped before. Your just a silly rape slave DO YOU UNDERSTAND. Now say it, say I’m a silly rape slave. The slave did as The Mistress commanded and said yes, yes, I’m a silly rape slave Mistress. Now said The Mistress silly rape slave I’m going to train you in the fine art of eating pussy DO YOU UNDERSTAND. Yes Mistress I understand said the slave. Ok silly fuck toy first I want you to blow my clitoris, that’s it slave boy that feels good. Now I want you to lick it. So the slave did as he was ordered and blowed  and licked her clitoris. Now I want you to use a little teeth, nibble my clitoris slave boy, that’s it harder but not to hard, you had better not damage my merchandise if you know what’s good for you. Now I want you to suck my clitoris between your teeth slowly at first then harder. Now I’m going to do something I like to call twist the fist and The Mistress started to twist the fist while she fisted him. She also started to mash his balls harder and harder until the slave begged her to stop. That’s a good dear she said and stopped mashing his balls and then just sucked them hard instead. The slave was doing a great job eating The Mistress’s pussy and she was moaning and groaning until she finally had a mind blowing orgasm. Well you’re a quick study that’s for sure. Now it’s time for your next lesson. I want you to worship my anus now turn on your side so you can worship me while I fist you some more. The slave did as commanded and found that the fisting hurt even more in this position. First spread my arse cheeks as wide apart as possible then lick around the rim and then stick your tongue deep inside my anus and lick it and suck it. Again the slave did as commanded and then The Mistress decided to have a little bit fun with the slave. She pulled her fist so it was halfway out of the slaves arse and started to twist the fist. She also started to mash his balls some more then she said ok loverboy it’s time for you to come so start wanking hard and fast. Once again the slave did as commanded and shot his load. It was the most powerful orgasm he had had in his life but The Mistress wasn’t finished with him yet. She continued to twist the fist as it stuck halfway out of his arse and mash his balls. The slave started to sob uncontrollably and The Mistress was absolutely furious. I don’t recall giving you permition  to cry you stupid crybaby rape slave. It’s time for one more lesson you stupid fucker. The Mistress then rammed her fist one last time up the slaves arse twisting it with all the fury she muster, then she pulled her fist out the slaves arse as fast as she could while it was still clenched and the slave’s arse popped when she did so. Whoops she said with a schoolgirl giggle, I hope I didn’t damage the merchandise. She then licked the crybaby rape tears of the slaves face and whispered in his ear with an evil grin. Well you waited so long to meet me and your balls are still full of juice. Well you waited so long to meet me and you set the tiger loose. Well you waited so long to meet me and at last the time has come and our enchanted evening has only just begun. Welcome to hell loverboy said the Mistress with her not innocent schoolgirl giggle.

Karate Kicks In The Balls!!!!

So there is this s&m porn star in Japan called Erika Nagai who's is an expert in karate kicking guys in the balls then sending them to hospital. She stoped doing this a few years ago. I guess the hospitals in Japan got sick of guys coming in for treatment after being karate kicked in the balls by an s&m porn star. She can also crush walnuts with her bare hands. If that's what she can do to walnuts just think of what she can do to your balls. Oh those wacky Japanese. And I thought running into brick walls was bad.

Discusting

The toilet seats at the train stations in Melbourne are discusting. They have no lids that you can lift so someone who needs to go for a piss because the urinals are busy or they can't piss cause they get nervous when other men are around will piss in the toilet and piss will end up on the seat where people sit to have a shit. Anyway I'm posting this here and on facebook so if you think this is discuting share it.

Your The Voice

So anyway I get into my nieces car and she puts a cd in and it's Your The Fucking Voice by John Fucking Farnham and I'm like how dare you. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!! How dare you play this fucking shit when I'm in the car and she's like IT"S MY FUCKING CAR AND I"LL PLAY WHAT I WANT and I'm like are you daft? ARE YOU FUCKING DAFT? What if someone sees me in your car when your playing this shit? Anyway I think to myself at least it's not Sadie The Cleaning Fucking Lady and as soon as I think that Your The Voice finishes and Sadie The Cleaning Lady comes on and I'm like typical. FUCKING TYPICAL.